Run and Hide From Negative People

  • You know how there are people in this world who are just brimming with positive energy? You’ve met them as your friends, acquaintances or even strangers in an elevator who always manage to make everyone smile and feel good about life.
  • They are the ones who seem to have a glow about them. Spending just 5 seconds with them can turn your Monday morning at 8 am mood right around.
  • Then, there are the people who are the exact opposite of all of that.

 

  • I recently had an encounter with someone I barely know who is the opposite of a ray of sunshine. 5 seconds with her and your happy mood can fly out the window and suddenly your mind is racing with all kinds of sad and gloomy thoughts.

 

  • She is not a bad person. She is smart, successful and seems kind, but for some reason she always carries a cloud of doom and gloom with her.
  • Every encounter I’ve had with her has cast a shadow on the rest of my day. She is a glass is half empty person who wants to share with you the details of why that glass is empty and how it will never be full no matter what you do.
  • Every time I see this person my instincts tell me to head for the hills.
  • I once made the mistake of telling this person about my plans and dreams and she shot back with a pleasant smile and casually said they will not come true.
  • Lesson I learned: Don’t share your dreams with everyone, especially the Debbie Downers of this world.
  • They don’t need to know about your life. Learn to recognize who they are and do your best to stay away. Run if you have to. Who cares if you look silly. You have your dreams to protect. You have your mood to protect too.
  • Don’t let anyone, no matter who they are, cast a dark shadow on your day, your week, your year or your life. Learn to cut these people out of your life or at least don’t tell them a thing about your plans.
  • Sometimes it’s good to keep your life a secret to certain people. They will think you are mysterious, or even weird. Let them think whatever they want.
  • Go find that person who is a ray of sunshine instead. They usually have cookies ;)

 

Caroline

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Sunsets, Candy and the Beach

 

Remember when you were a kid and it took very little to make you happy? Someone giving you one of these : would light up your entire world.

 Life was like a bowl of chocolate covered cherries back then

 

Now as an adult you have to make a conscious effort to get insanely happy about things. Adults are always trying to find the key to their happiness.

When you were a kid it was effortless. Today I told a kid she didn’t have cavities and she practically jumped out of the chair screaming with glee. Her sudden enthusiasm startled me. Adults seem bored when I tell them they don’t have cavities. A few will say an extremely unenthusiastic and sad little, “yay” but that’s about it.

I think as we get older, we forget to take pleasure in the little things. That makes us a little jaded and takes away from our happiness. To children, everything is new and interesting and they are constantly surprised by the world around them.

I think we could learn a thing or two from kids. Try to find some joy in the little things you do every day. There is so much that we take for granted. If you take the time to notice things then maybe you will get some of your old childhood enthusiasm back. Trust me, it’s there, underneath all your layers.

What makes me happy?

 dessert

 wine and cheese (should really be the 5th food group)

 oddities of nature

 any body of water that is that shade of blue and lined with sandy beaches

 sunsets (did you know they happen every single day) I didn’t get that memo….

 a decent cup of coffee (much harder to find than you think)

 and of course Miami

 and yes, I still love these…

 

Pay attention to all of the things you love. It’s easy to get distracted by the negative stuff that comes into our lives…so don’t do it :)

Caroline

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These Robin eggs were found by a relative in her back yard last night. I thought they were so amazing. I looked up Robin eggs online and found that everyone copies this color created by nature to paint their house, pick out furniture and even appliances. Googling Robin eggs led me to tons of pictures of interior design. I had to search harder to find out about the bird itself and not the food processor that is the robins’ egg blue. I thought that was wierd. Well…I admit it is a pretty shade of blue…

Anyways, the other day was Saturday and I was walking to the office trying to be happy about going to work on a Saturday morning. I had succeeded and partially tricked myself into a good mood. Suddenly, I saw a man taking pictures of me with his phone. I couldn’t stop him. I tried to block my face as much as I could but he had already gotten a few shots in before I even noticed him. I am grateful I had sunglasses on at least. This pushed me right back into my bad mood where I questioned the crazy world we live in.

I walked into the office and tried to collect myself and regain my good mood. Not an easy task. As if right on cue, the universe knew I needed to hear something positive and good. I saw a patient who came in wearing a cast. She told me she broke her leg when she slipped into a swimming pool. She was running into the pool to try to save a small child who was drowning. She told me she ignored her pain and did everything she could to save that child. I told her she earned her wings that day.

So badly that morning I just needed to hear a story like that. I needed to know there were good and selfless people in the world. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the negative that you have to remember there are positive things about the world we live in. I also thought about how wonderful it must feel knowing you saved a life.

Later that day, I was near my parents house and suddenly remembered they have a fish at home. They are out of town so I went over there to feed the fish. There was absolutely no food in this little guy’s bowl and my parents weren’t due back for days. In a small way, I did save this little fish’s life. Okay I didn’t jump in front of a moving bus or lift a car off of a baby but, every life is precious right? ;)   …..except for mosquitos and that annoying moth that was bouncing around my room, and spiders……sorry

Happy Monday!

Caroline

 

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Singing in the Waiting Room

Does your routine bore you? What can we do to make the routine, less routine?

I think that so many of us are so in need of entertainment and a reprieve from our daily rigamorale that we need to make our days more interesting. One solution is make it personal, and inject a little pizzazz into your day.

Today as I parked my car in the garage near work, I was greeted by the always friendly valets. They have a job that can be monotonous like most of our jobs can be. However they try to make it interesting by learning the names of every single person that parks their car there regularly. They even come up with nicknames for the cars they park on the regular. My car is named, “El Rojo” simply because it’s red. As soon as they see me coming for my car, they shout out, “El Rojo” to each other to signal the car must be pulled out from the bowels of the garage for me. When I drop the car off in the morning, they come up with a new way to put my name into a song and sing it loudly. It’s nice to be greeted in that silly way after sitting in traffic for an hour in the morning. It takes the edge off. They don’t just do this for me, they do it for everyone. They are not obligated to do this, but I bet it makes their days go by much better. It is a positive way to make the time go by.

I saw two little boys in the office today. Then, as I was seeing their mother, they waited patiently in the waiting room. Instead of fighting or being rambuctious as children often are in that boring waiting room. They chose to entertain themselves by serenading the waiting room with an entire host of songs. I listened to two children loudly singing in unison and surprisingly on-key from the waiting room and laughed to myself. Their mother said, this is how they passed their time when they were bored. I didn’t mind it. At least they weren’t fighting. It brought good energy into the office. Another positive way to make the time go by.

Most of us have daily routines of getting up, sitting in traffic, going to work, gym etc. If we don’t break it up with a little of the ‘weird’ and silly then it can get too monotonous. Life is not meant to be lived like a robot. You also have to make it personal. One example of this succeeding is when Starbucks decided to start asking people what their names were when taking their order. It’s much nicer to hear your name being called when your coffee is ready than just hearing the name of the drink that three other people ordered in the pick up area. It makes it more personal.

Sometimes when I see people going through the day just getting from moment to moment without enjoying anything, I try to break them out of it. Often, I have patients who sit in the chair expressionless and think that they are just on a conveyer belt waiting to be treated until I call “Next!” That’s not how it works with me. They are not a number. Each person is unique. I make it personal. I tell stories, and make jokes. I had a child sit in the chair today and when I greeted him, the first thing he said to me was, “Did you know that I am special?” Adorable. You can only get away with that if you are a child. If an adult said that to me, I definitely wouldn’t find that adorable, I promise you. He went on to tell me about all of his achievements in school and told me that education was the key to everything. He was a special kid, he was right.

It is easy to get caught up in the mundane and the everyday and forget what is important. Making connections with other people and life around you is key.

Whatever you do with your day, and your life, make it personal. Make it special. Be silly and be wierd. Smile at someone, say hello, make a joke. Anything is better than just going through each day like a robot without taking notice, and enjoying the moment.

Caroline

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Too Much Information?

I think sometimes people just need someone to talk to. I encountered a person today who unloaded too much information on me. They really don’t know me well at all. However, they felt the need to tell me everything about themselves plus the kitchen sink. At first I became thoroughly annoyed that this person was giving me details about their life that I really did not want to know. Then I realized that this person probably had no one else to confide in. They were probably like a cup of water that was just too full and needed to unload some of what they were holding on to. I guess we all need to do that once in a while just to be able to function.

It is definitely not healthy to hold on to things. We have to get rid of whatever feelings that are weighing us down. It will not do us any good to hold on to negative emotions. Holding the burdens we have inside of us and not sharing them with others will only harm us both emotionally and physically.

My advice, if you have things in your life that are pressing on you and you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, don’t carry it on your own. You don’t have to. Share your thoughts and feelings with others. There is nothing wrong with venting. It does not make you a complainer. There is a difference between venting and being a chronic complainer. You can unload your worries on another person you trust. It will lighten your load a bit just taking the words out of your head and into the world. You never know what advice that person may offer. Even if they don’t give you advice, it will still make you feel lighter having shared your troubles with another.

What is important to remember is that once you have shared your worries, let them go. Don’t harp on them. It can lead to a slippery slope where you are constantly telling everyone what is wrong in your life and complaining about everything. Focus on what is good in your life. Then realize that whatever is not going right, eventually will. It takes a positive attitude to get you there.

Caroline

 

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Little Paper Umbrellas

The above picture was taken this morning from my plane. It’s the space shuttle on hitching a ride on a plane. I missed it when it flew over D.C. earlier this week but today I got my chance to see it.

Today I flew to Miami. As I type this I sit on a balcony watching the boats and the world go by. Right now in this moment I am perfectly at peace. The day did not start out this way for me at all.

My day began at 4:00 am. I had an early morning pickup to the airport. The shuttle company that I normally use has always been on time. Always. Today they came an hour late to pick me up for the airport. You know that feeling you get when you think you are going to miss your flight to a perfect destination and you know it is someone else’s fault? That is the feeling that was gripping me this morning. My fruitless efforts to call the company were no help. They kept telling me the driver was on his way and even told me the driver’s name. I did not need to know the driver’s name. I was not planning on starting a friendship with him. I only needed him there for me when he was supposed to be.

I went outside in the dark morning air and found the neighborhood still asleep. I wondered where the driver could be? The dispatcher told me that he had another reservation that matched mine. That is a fancy way of saying they double booked him. Suddenly I saw the van driving into my neighborhood and past my court. He was lost in my tiny neighborhood. I realized I had to chase after the van. As I ran after him waving my hands trying to get his attention, I promised myself that from now on I would drive. At least I know I can count on me.

When I got to the airport the man adding insult to injury decided to drive up the set price for no reason. He may have thought I was born yesterday, or just fell off of the turnip truck. Wise to his game, I called the shuttle company and told them what he was doing. They told me to pay only the set price. I paid him, and tipped him and left him standing there not happy with the fact he couldn’t pull the wool over my eyes.

I walked into the airport aggravated, and tense after the events of the morning. I heard a voice in my head say, “decide not to be upset”. It is true. Whatever emotions we feel, we have decided to feel them. I could easily undo my mood by changing it.

I reminded myself that I was going on a much needed weekend away and to smile. I didn’t want to smile, but I did it anyways. If you force yourself to smile, your emotions will soon catch up to your face. If life throws an unpleasant situation at you, handle it the best way you can, then move on. Don’t harp on the event for the rest of your day. You will ruin a perfectly good day because of something that has already happened and is over with.

It was a smooth morning, easy flight, and friendly people. I sat on the plane in the 12th row and a man asked me if I would switch seats with him in the 13th row. I laughed as I remembered my previous post about the number 13 and other superstitions. I sat the rest of the flight in lucky 13 and got a great view of the space shuttle sitting on the runway.

Being angry, irritable, upset or any other negative emotion is a choice. You can instead choose to be in a better mood. You will have a better day, and will be a pleasant person to be around.

Now I will get back to my drink with the umbrella in it :)

I really think we should all invest more in little paper umbrellas. If you are not a drinker, you can still put it in your water or juice or soda if you want. Life is too short not to put an umbrella in our drink once in a while. Jazz it up a little :)

Happy Friday!!!!

Caroline

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How was your Friday the 13th? Mine started out with me running out the door late. I had a nightmare that made me sleep in. I was taking the dental boards and the instructors would not stop talking during the test. They were so loud. I kept telling them to be quiet but they kept talking. I couldn’t concentrate. I spent one hour just reading one question. I woke up thrilled it was a dream. Those ‘taking an exam’ dreams are the worst. I’d rather have a good old fashioned ‘monster chasing you’ type of dream over an ‘exam’ dream any day. Actually no I wouldn’t. The point is that the nightmare made me run late this morning.

I hit the roads and it was smooth sailing since no one works on Fridays anymore. It seems like Thursday has become the new Friday around here. (Does that make Saturday the new Sunday? Nevermind, too confusing.) My patients sit in the chair on Fridays and I ask them if they are working that day and the response is usually, “Ha ha! Oh no, not today!” Must be nice ;) Anyways, I was almost at the office (5 blocks away) when my smooth sailing hit a grinding halt. Someone had the bright idea to close one lane on K street during rush hour. Suddenly, we were all stuck in traffic. I kept wondering where everyone around me was going since no one works on Fridays. I guess a few people do.

It was a pretty busy day and a few odd things did happen. However, I will not blame anything on Friday the 13th. It’s just another day like the 12th or the 14th. It is silly to have such a superstition. The same reason I think it is ridiculous that many buildings don’t have a 13th floor. Whatever number you call that 14th floor, it doesn’t change that fact that it is really the 13th. Relax, Freddy Krueger is not going to come get you on this special day.

If you have a bad day, don’t blame it on superstition. Blame it on the fact that the day just didn’t come together for you. Maybe it also had a lot to do with your mood and your attitude. I woke up with a not so great mood and because of that, I attracted certain negative situations to me. It wasn’t until I changed my attitude that my day improved. Superstitions will only come true if you give them the power to do so. If you start your day setting yourself up for failure then the day will be just as you imagined, a total flop.

So go ahead, open that umbrella inside, walk under the ladder, step on the crack in the sidewalk (your mother’s back will be fine). Don’t be afraid of numbers. They can’t hurt you, they are just numbers. Someone once gave me a four leaf clover, nothing came of it.  I make my own luck with positive thinking and putting a good vibe out into the universe. Whatever you put out there, comes back at you. So throw some good energy out there- even on what is considered an ‘unlucky day’.

Caroline

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Today and everyday of your life is an important day. Many of us believe that some days are important and others are just ‘filler’ days that will take us to the next ‘important’ day. Give each day a chance, because every single one is a gift. Take the time to appreciate each day you are given. Don’t waste your energy on negative people, toxic situations and don’t worry your life away. Whatever is going on, worrying about it will not help the situation, it will only make it worse.

Just enjoy your life as much as you can. No matter what is going on, try to make yourself laugh or smile. It is easy to smile when things are going well but it’s a challenge to do it when things aren’t. That is when it is the most important time to do it. It will make you stronger.

We usually get in the habit of treating many of our days as just another day. There is no such thing as just another day. Don’t bring yourself down because it’s Monday and walk around telling people you “have a case of the Mondays” (I’ve been guilty of that too). Ok, it’s Monday, so what? Tomorrow is Tuesday and the next day is Wednesday. Which day will you allow yourself to feel happy? Each day that you are alive and another chance for you to turn that ‘blah’ feeling into a good one and make a difference with your life.

If you think of life as a journey and a chance to feel happy everyday, then you won’t want to waste your time feeling sorry for yourself or let the little things get you down.

The next time you get the urge to have the case of the Mondays or the Wednesday blues or feel down because your workload is too high, traffic is congested, or the dog ate your homework, shake it off. Feel whatever you are feeling then let it go. Move on from it. Don’t harp on it and tell everyone about it. It will only make you feel worse.

It is so incredibly easy to feel down when things get tough. Instead make yourself realize that this day is really a gift. A lot of people don’t have the opportunities you have and would absolutely love to have your problems. If that doesn’t help you, then keep in mind that there are no guarantees in life on the time that we have, so why not enjoy the ride? It will make you a happier and stronger person.

Happy Friday…. or whatever day of the week it is! (does it matter?)

Caroline

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Learn to Pick Your Battles in Life

Today I was in World Market shopping ( I love that place) and when I went to stand in line to purchase, I noticed an irate woman arguing with the cashier about the way her coupon was calculated in her overall purchase.

The line behind me kept building with people who were increasingly annoyed with this woman who was clearly causing a hold up in the line. It took a manager and the cashier to explain to her that the coupon she used only applied to some of her items. She fought back fiercely and tried to win this battle against the cashier, the manager and the World Market gods in general.

As I watched this woman, I began to think about how we really need to pick our battles in life. Do we have to win every single argument? A better question, do we even need to be in an argument in the first place? Shouldn’t we just let some things go?

I used to be the type of person who always had to prove that I was right. I had to win every argument and if someone disagreed with me I had to show them they were wrong. I engaged in every disagreement around me. It was almost as if I craved the drama.

It took me a long time to finally learn that I was causing nothing but stress in my life and wearing myself out. Trying to fight and win every battle is exhausting!!

You will on an every day basis encounter people who want to draw you their little conflicts. They may try to make you engage in a conversation where they know you don’t share the same views and just want someone to argue with. Sometimes you just have to decide if the situation is worth the time and energy spent arguing over it.

Don’t let drama queens or kings draw you into their little situations. To use the coupon lady at World Market as an example, was it really worth it for her to engage in a lengthy battle with two store employees, a calculator and store policy over 4 dollars? She probably did nothing but ruin the rest of her day simply because she was not willing to back down and let this one go. She was also afraid to admit she was wrong.

Sometimes people at work who thrive on drama will try to push your buttons and get you to engage in a argument with them. They do this out of boredom, and a sheer love of drama. Don’t fall into their trap. Smile, walk away and let them ensnare someone else into their little web.

Try to stay away from unnecessary battles that only clutter up your life. Did someone cut you off on the road? You don’t need to win that battle of road rage. A stranger is rude to you for no reason? Don’t let them ruin your day. Walk away. You have better things to do with your time.

Stay away from the conflicts that no one can win. If you have to argue, let it be over something important. Fight the battles that are worth winning.

 

On a side note, I wonder where that lady got her coupons! I have coupon envy! I highly recommend the Coupon Sherpa app on the I-phone. It’s the best! Except they failed when it came to World Market coupons. Oh well, can’t win em all!!!!

Happy Saturday!!

Caroline

 

 

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Who Is Raining On Your Parade?

Don’t let someone else rain on your parade

Stay away from negative people. People who are really negative like to bring everyone else down. Especially people who are happier than they are. Don’t share your hopes and dreams with people who are only going to put you down. You don’t need to convince them that you are right. Some people just cannot be convinced.

Take a look at who you are choosing to spend your precious time on earth with. Are they supportive or do they belittle you? What is their outlook on life?

Sometimes we go through life without realizing that the people we are spending time with are not helping us be the people we could be. They are bringing us down with their negativity.

Don’t discount the fact that the general outlook on life people have around you will affect your outlook too. No matter how strong you are, if you spend time with pessimistic people, soon you will share their views.

Eventually other people will infect you with their mood, so let it be a good outlook and mood that they infect you with.

Surround yourself with sunshine

People who encourage you and believe in you and are generally happy themselves, are the good influence we all need.

We can’t always pick who we spend time with. Sometimes they are relatives or people we work with. You can’t eliminate some people in your life but you could limit your exposure to them.

However, if you work somewhere where it is a completely negative and toxic environment and it is draining the life out of you, then I recommend getting out if you can.

I’ve worked in situations that have been so toxic that my mood could shift dramatically just by walking into the office space. I could go from happy to miserable in a span of 2 seconds just by feeling the negative energy of the people around me.

People who have a positive outlook on life will energize you and make you feel like you can do anything.

Take stock of who you choose to surround yourself with and make some serious decisions. You deserve to be surrounded with people who will bring you happiness and not bring you down. Your life is worth it.

Happy Friday!!!!!!

 

Caroline

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