Talking To A Brick Wall

Have you ever tried to explain something to someone or tried to make them understand your views about a subject and you could tell you were just talking to a brick wall? Have you ever felt like you are talking, but no one is listening? You wonder why they don’t see it your way or think the way you think even though what you are saying makes perfect sense in your mind.

It can be really frustrating but it’s important to remember that we are all wired differently. What may be important to one person, may be meaningless to another. Your life experiences and what you were taught as you grew up also factor into how you see things. We all have different experiences, opinions, backgrounds, and values.

We may not all agree, but we have to try to see the other’s point of view. There may be some things that we can teach each other. You never know until you open your mind and really listen to the other person and hear them out. If you still don’t agree with them, then fine, at least you heard what they had to say. Then you have to agree to disagree.

Too often we form our own opinions about things and shut our minds off to other views and ideas. No single person is all knowing. We all have flaws and that means there is always room for improvement. It also means that we can make mistakes in judgement. When presented with other views, we should try to listen.

Many of the problems in the world today are caused by the unwillingness of people to see each others’ point of view. Groups of people may decide that their way is the right way and anyone who doesn’t see it their way is wrong. It becomes dangerously simplified and it can lead to major conflicts. It becomes a ‘you are either with me or against me’ situation.

What we must understand is that just because someone doesn’t see it your way, does not make them wrong. (unless of course what they are advocating is something dangerous or against human rights )

Keep your mind open to new ideas and views. Try not to  close your mind off to what others have to say simply because you don’t want to hear another point of view. Remember, you cannot force your views on another person and they should not do that to you either.

Next time you have a conflict or a difference of opinion with someone, try to hear them out. If you pay them that courtesy, then they may do the same for you. When you are willing to listen, it can diffuse the situation. It is hard to lash out at someone who is listening patiently to what you are saying. It will prevent a lot of headaches and make your day and your life a little easier.

 

Happy…what day is it? Wednesday! Actually I’m typing this so late, I think it’s Thursday now.

Caroline

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Say It Louder, I Can’t Hear You

 

“Shhhhhhhh!”, “Don’t speak until you are spoken to” and my personal favorite, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all”. Those things were often said to children but for many of us (especially women) it has become ingrained and controls what we say and do even as adults.

I think you should say whatever you need to say. Get it out there. I’m not saying that you should say horrible things to people whenever you want. No, I mean if you have an opinion, you should voice it.

Let people know who you are and what you stand for. Let them know that you are present. Don’t be a pushover. Have an opinion.

Most women have been taught to be nice, pleasant and to let others voice their opinions. That need to be ’nice’ can get in the way when they have an opinion that goes against another’s. It’s a hurdle women sometimes have to jump over in order to express themselves.

The truth is, that until you let others know how you feel  then they will never really know you. They will have only gotten to know a small fraction of who you are.

The fear of rejection from others is a strong deterrent for people to keep their views to themselves. Some may think they will alienate others if their views are different from those around them. It’s like that old familiar peer pressure that carries itself into adulthood.

I realized one day that almost all of the people I surround myself with are people (men and women) with very strong personalities and vocal opinions. I like it this way. As someone who has often struggled with speaking out, they are good role models for me.

If you are a person who has a hard time speaking up and sharing your views, try to surround yourself with strong personalities. They can be a good influence on you. It’s good to be challenged by others because it forces you to make your voice heard too. In the end, your true friends will still be your friends even if they don’t share your views.

Do you want to be the person who lets everyone else around them be heard or do you want to let your own voice be heard loud and clear as well? The choice is yours.

 

The only exception to this entire post is if you encounter that man who works at the Sistine Chapel and he tells you to “shhhhhhh!!!!!!” and then says “no photos in sistine chapel!!!!!!!!!!!” It would be wise to listen to him. I have never seen anyone shush an entire room full of people (especially loud tourists) as well as he did. In fact, I dedicate this post to him. He was a short Italian man with a loud “shhhhh!” that commanded an entire room. If you dared take a photo of the ceiling, he would throw you out faster than you can say ‘Michelangelo’. Now that’s a man with an opinion.

Happy Sunday!

Caroline

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