Sitting On The Fence

 Have you ever been so stuck on a decision that you just don’t know what to do? You examine it from every possible angle and still can’t decide? You look at all of the outcomes and scenarios and it still leaves you stumped? All of your thinking and wishing for the right answer has left you no closer to the solution and you are only more confused than ever as to what you should do.

I spent years pontificating, ruminating, hoping, wishing and praying that I make the right decision. All of that thinking was just thinking and no real decision was made. I was left in a sea of indecision with no life raft to get me out. 

I know this happens to everyone. It can be incredibly frustrating. Recently I finally made the decision that had been plaguing me for 8 years. It was a question of should I stay or should I leave? I finally felt an enormous weight lift off of me when I finally decided.

In retrospect, I realize that what was holding me back from making a decision was fear. I knew that once I decided, I would have to act on that decision. I think the fear of moving forward kept me on the fence. This can happen to anyone. I understand that now. At least I know I won’t take so long with any future decisions that come my way…hopefully ;)

If you are struggling with your own decision about something, try to understand what is keeping you on the fence. You may realize that fear may be holding you back. We fear we may make the wrong choice, or even the right one. We know that once we make a choice we have to move towards that decision and all of the changes that come with it.

Don’t stay on the fence, it is a very uncomfortable place to perch yourself. It’s a relief when you finally decide and jump off the fence and onto the soft ground below. Life is too short to spend it with indecision.

Just my thoughts for tonight.

Caroline

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The Dreaded Menu

 

Tonight I went to a tiny little basement restaurant with friends called Little Serow in D.C.  It was like being in your parents basement being served by strangers who kept bringing you bowls of spicy goodness. It is a set menu chosen by the chef. This is a huge plus for me because when it comes to food I can be a basket case of pure indecision. The menu at any restaurant can be as daunting to me as what one should do with the rest of their life. I agonize over the indecision of “chicken or pasta” more than a prospective college student spends on deciding their major.

I was spared the agony of the menu. Ok, they did have a menu but really it more like a statement on paper telling you this is what you will be eating and God help you if you didn’t like it. Luckily my momentary panic at seeing rabbit liver and duck egg was quickly quelled when plate after plate of delicious food was placed in front of us. It was only after we finished eating that I said, “hey! where was the duck egg?” I ate it and didn’t even know it. It reminds me of the time I went to a dinner party and ate cow tongue and didn’t realize it. I grew up hating cow tongue. (they eat it in my culture) The very thought is revolting to me. However, at this dinner party they had a buffet of fish, chicken and what I thought was shredded pork. I ate all three and loved my food. It wasn’t until I overheard a guest say, ‘that tongue was delicious!’, that I realized what had happened. I ran over to the buffet table and counted: definitely fish, definitely chicken, and…oops.

Anyways, my point is that everything was delicious at Little Serow. I realized that sometimes it is nice to not have to make decisions. We are bombarded with decision making all day long and it’s nice to take a break from that.

It is also nice to try new things not just with food, but with anything in life. When you take the decision out of your own hands once in a while, life can pleasantly surprise you.

Caroline

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Stay or Go?

Today I got on a plane and left weather that looks like the above picture and view for cold and rainy weather and no ocean in sight. Believe me, I am still asking myself why.

I live in Maryland but my heart is in Miami. Everytime I get on a plane and leave Miami, I feel like something is trying to tether me in place. I feel like it is my home.

I wonder how many of us live in one city but our heart belongs to another place. It is like you have one foot in each location. People because of  their circumstances often end up living somewhere they hadn’t planned on living. Sometimes they grow up somewhere and yearn to break free and move somewhere else. If you haven’t experienced this then you are lucky. It can be quite heartbreaking.

The truth is that you really can live where you desire. Nothing is impossible. If you don’t like your circumstances and your zip code, then change it. It is easier than you think. I spent years trying to decide whether I should stay or go. The indecision was exhausting. It wasn’t until I finally made a choice that the weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

My advice is make a choice and run with it. Life is meant to be enjoyed. If your zip code is not making you happy then move. You can’t live with one foot in two cities for too long. It’s too tiring.

Caroline

 

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