Have you ever been so stuck on a decision that you just don’t know what to do? You examine it from every possible angle and still can’t decide? You look at all of the outcomes and scenarios and it still leaves you stumped? All of your thinking and wishing for the right answer has left you no closer to the solution and you are only more confused than ever as to what you should do.
I spent years pontificating, ruminating, hoping, wishing and praying that I make the right decision. All of that thinking was just thinking and no real decision was made. I was left in a sea of indecision with no life raft to get me out.
I know this happens to everyone. It can be incredibly frustrating. Recently I finally made the decision that had been plaguing me for 8 years. It was a question of should I stay or should I leave? I finally felt an enormous weight lift off of me when I finally decided.
In retrospect, I realize that what was holding me back from making a decision was fear. I knew that once I decided, I would have to act on that decision. I think the fear of moving forward kept me on the fence. This can happen to anyone. I understand that now. At least I know I won’t take so long with any future decisions that come my way…hopefully ;)
If you are struggling with your own decision about something, try to understand what is keeping you on the fence. You may realize that fear may be holding you back. We fear we may make the wrong choice, or even the right one. We know that once we make a choice we have to move towards that decision and all of the changes that come with it.
Don’t stay on the fence, it is a very uncomfortable place to perch yourself. It’s a relief when you finally decide and jump off the fence and onto the soft ground below. Life is too short to spend it with indecision.
Just my thoughts for tonight.
What are you afraid of? Is there something in your life that you are terrified to attempt? Does the very thought of it make you want to run in another direction. Does thinking about it insert the theme song to Jaws in your head and you turn around to make sure there is no shark following you? If so, then read on. Maybe I can help a little.
I had a patient that was terrified of the dentist. We all have this fear to some degree but this person’s fear bordered on phobia. There were numerous failed attempts to get this person to let us work on him. (and I’m the dentist who can talk almost anyone off the ledge so this is saying a lot) Then one day this person came into our office with a new determination that I had never seen before. He had decided that he was not going to let this fear control him anymore. I could tell his mind was made up. He was going to go through whatever was necessary to face his fear. After the first successful appointment was over, he looked at me and said, “is this all that I was afraid of? It wasn’t a big deal!”. He couldn’t believe how silly he felt for being afraid for so long. The difference between this success and his previous failures was that he changed the way he thought about his fear.
This made me think of the fears that we carry around. Some of us have more than others, but in the end it is the same. Whatever our fears are, we must realize that it is not nearly as big as what we have created in our minds.
If we can build a strong determination within ourselves to not let the fear take the reins, then we can face anything life throws at us. Face what scares you, especially if it is preventing you from living the life you want.
It really is all in our head. We form the fear in our minds but we can also remove the fear we created. Remember when you were a little kid trying to sleep in a dark room and that pile of clothes sitting on the chair looked like a big scary monster? (or was that just me?) In the light of day you realized there was nothing to fear. Just a pile of messy clothes you need to put away. To use this analogy what we fear as adults is the same. In our minds we can turn something small and harmless into a much bigger thing that we perceive as dangerous or scary.
Change how you look at your fear. Realize you are in control of it because you are the one who created it. Face it often and like anything, with practice, you will get better.
Filed under: fear
| Tagged as: facing your fears