There is something that has been on my mind for the last 9 years that I really must get out there and into the open. I can’t hold it in any longer. There are things that must be said.

Yesterday I was in the middle of treating a patient when one of the dental assistants walked into the operatory. She whispered to my assistant asking if she had any candy. My assistant informed her that she had a bag of Werther’s candy. The other assistant sounded relieved because she was hungry.

This whispered conversation happened in front of me (dentist) and my patient (dental patient) who was currently sitting in the chair getting work done. Hmmmm what is wrong with this picture?

At the end of their conversation I laughed out loud and told both of them they should be ashamed of themselves to have the nerve to have that conversation in front of my patient and myself. My patient laughed. I’m glad she was amused and not mortified.

Later, I began thinking about this candy issue. Many of the patients walk in with candy in their mouths that they hastily remove seconds before sitting in the chair. Some (especially kids) ask me for candy. This has never ceased to amaze me.  

Really?

Do you go to the dermatologist and carry a tanning bed with you?

It’s like going to the cardiologist’s office carrying a vat of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream with a slab of chocolate covered bacon sticking out of it and using the bacon as a spoon to feed yourself the ice cream.   

It’s like getting a physical and taking the stress test and smoking a cigarette at the same time.

It’s like going to the gym and running on the elliptical while you are drinking a six pack of beer.  

It’s like waking up from the anesthesia after a triple bypass heart surgery and asking the nurse to bring you a pound of butter so you can slather it all over your pancakes that your friend smuggled into the hospital for you.

It’s like an asthmatic wheezing and using a rescue inhalor with one hand and smoking a cigar with the other.

You don’t do any of that do you?

If you do, you are hilarious and I want to be your friend.  But that being said, I have never understood why patients bring candy, and soda into the office. They bring that gigantic tub of soda into the exam room and rest it right on the counter right in front of me. Then when I find 900 cavities, they are confused. LOL

I’m not a moron, I know people drink soda, eat candy, don’t floss etc etc. But must you flaunt it in front of your dentist? Must you sit in the dental chair with   chocolate still not completely chewed inside your mouth? Do I have to ask you to remove the Sour Patch Kid candy resting on your tongue so that I can check for cavities?

I know that people do all of these things but I prefer to be lied to. Let me live in blissful ignorance about your bad habits. You tell me you never eat candy or soda and I will nod and smile and know it’s a lie but never call you out on it. Isn’t that better?

But noooo, everyone has to be soo honest with me ;)

Honestly, I’m not mad. I just think its hilarious and it always makes me giggle.

Dentists are no better either, trust me. Dentists send each other professional gift baskets filled with sweets and candy for holidays or any old day. We don’t need holidays anymore. Even this one dental supply company we work with ships us dental supplies often including a complimentary bag of candy in with the order. I of course always never ever ever partake in that candy bag. Ever..That would be hypocritical of me.

 Perhaps I’m just going about this the wrong way. If you can’t beat em, join em. Maybe I will leave a huge bowl of candy in the waiting room and put one in each operatory too. I can even put a soda machine in the waiting room. I throw my hands up and give up.

Let them eat candy and drink soda. It’s not like they are going to listen to me anyways ;)

 Happy candy eating!!!!

Caroline

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