I received comments asking me to elaborate more on my previous post on “Making the Decision to Decide”. Its an important topic and I am happy to oblige my lovely readers
When we reach a crossroads in our life, we have to decide which way we are going to go.
I once had a dream that I drove to a major intersection in D.C. that I usually pass through. In the dream I parked my car at the intersection, got out of the car and pulled a lawn chair out of my trunk. I literally sat at the intersection in the chair and did not move.
I think the dream meant that I could not or would not decide what to do, so instead I decided to just sit at the fork in the road. I was either trying to wait for an answer or did not want to decide at all.
In reality, at the time that I had this dream, my life was at a crossroads. I was trying to decide which direction to take my life and it was creating a lot of stress and anxiety for me.
When you reach a crossroads in your life, don’t park at the intersection. Sitting with indecision will only create more stress for you and you will be further away from a solution.
Here are some steps you can take and use as a guide to help you decide on whatever dilemma is plaguing you:
1) Trust Yourself
This is a key step. If you don’t trust your judgement then it is really impossible to trust any of your decisions. If you can barely decide on the little things in your life then how can you expect to make the big decisions?
This step is a process. It may not happen overnight. It could take a while for many of us to be able to trust ourselves again. Keep telling yourself, “I trust myself and my decisions”. Recite this to yourself until it becomes ingrained in your heart and you believe it to be true. Do whatever you have to do. You can even put little notes up around your living space with that phrase written on it as a gentle reminder.
If you have spent years not trusting yourself and your judgment, then reprogramming yourself to think another way will be a process. After a while, you no longer have to try to trust. It becomes second nature to you.
2) Follow Your Instincts
In your heart, you already know what you need to do. Listen closely. Forget what everyone is telling you to do. You make the decision, not them.
We are creatures that are driven by our instincts. We always on some level know exactly what to do and what is right. The problem is that we let other things get in the way of our own insight. We also have a tendency to rationalize and talk ourselves out of what we truly want.
Armed with the trust in yourself and your instincts, you simply just decide. Make a decision and go with it.
Don’t go back to that intersection again and wonder if you made the right call. Move forward, not backwards.
What’s their secret??
I used to watch people make decisions without hesitation. They simply decided what they wanted to do and just did it. I was envious. I was a person who would second guess every single decision, big or small. For me, whether it was deciding what to order for lunch or a major life decision, it was a struggle.
These confident people that are never indecisive, I always wondered what their secret was. The truth is there is no secret. You just need a strong faith and trust in yourself. A close connection with your heart is also necessary. You need to know yourself well. That may seem simple enough, but I think a lot of people do not know themselves as much as they think they do and have lost a connection with themselves.
I hope this helps! For me, it’s an ongoing process but I have come a long way.
Remember, whenever you find yourself stuck at a fork in the road, the worst thing you can do is pull out a chair, sit there and do nothing at all.